Monday, November 08, 2004

Because Terry McAuliffe Asked

Got a note from DNC Chairman (Can you believe they haven't moved to "chair" yet? Where is the feminist outrage?) Terry McAuliffe asking for my thoughts and comments about the 2004 elections and what dems should do going forward.

Since you asked....

1. It is absolutely imperative that dems keep McAuliffe as their chairman. To dump him now would be a sign that the terrorists (and/or Republicans) have won. Dems: you must look past the fact that since becoming chairman you have lost 8 house seats and 5 senate seats. Look past the fact that despite:

"...A mediocre economy, an unpopular war and a well-funded and unified opposition,
[Bush] not only won his race but also helped increase Republican majorities in
the House and Senate."


Don't worry about the fact that you have made up no ground in governorships in the last 4 years. Remember, McAuliffe is a fundraising genius. That is all that matters, right? I mean anyone can win races and control the government, but to be able to raise money...

2. Back to the governor thing: don't run a governor for President. No good could come from that, right? When was the last time a governor won the presidency? I mean besides Bush, Clinton, Reagan, Carter...
No. Run a senator again. How 'bout a liberal one from the northeast? Senator Clinton, I'm looking at you.

3. Remember: dems only lost this election because a bunch of crazy bigots hate gays. Repeat it daily. You know what? Say it to the press and have them say it for you for the next four years. The folks in red states are pretty dumb so you have to keep repeating it until they understand. I suggest doing it in a condescending and arrogant fashion. That'll impress all those redneck rubes. Call them redneck and rubes. They will never learn unless you keep pounding the point home. Also, too many of them take their faith seriously. You should ridicule them.

4. Oh yeah, stop pussy footing around and stand up for your beliefs. You know why you didn't win? People were unclear how good and righteous you are on issues of "guns, God, and gays". Take a stand.

5. Don't worry about crap like war and terrorism. Follow the lead of Michael Moore and Ted Kennedy. Moore's movie made over $100 million; he must have his finger on the pulse of middle America, right? Hell, have you seen how he dresses? Just like all those ignorant, unteachable fly over state jerks. He'll show you the way. Terrorism is a phony threat. Run with it. The war was cooked up in Texas. Come on. Whatever dems do, don't start to take foreign policy seriously. Don't come out with a rational plan for dealing with the threat; it doesn't exist, remember.

6. Run on secret plans to bring our troops home regardless of whether they have finished their job. Make it more clear to people that free elections in Afghanistan or capturing Saddam Hussein don't serve our ends. People are confused. They think bringing freedom to brown peoples and driving their tyrants from power are good things. Point out to them that it doesn't matter how many brown people are executed by a ruthless dictator; they don't matter to us.

7. I almost forgot: don't stop fighting this election. Please, don't let it go gracefully. Here, these guys have some grumbles. Get up off the mat and run with it. It is not to late to start suing is it? Come on. Bush is Hitler. He eats babies and sells their blood to Halliburton who marks it up and sells it to medics in Iraq for blood transfusions. Hatred and bitterness is the key to all future success for dems.

8. Anyone can act as principled opposition. Dems should take it a step farther and filibuster and block everything. The more inconsequential it seems the more important it is. Dems must prove that they can obstruct anything. "Up With People" week? Stonewall. Charter school proposals to help inner city kids get a better education? Tie it up in committee. Nothing is more important than reaching the right pique of fit in the next two years.

9. Finally, I think it is critical that you continue to tie your fortunes to America's misfortune. Make it more clear that you are hoping for a bad economy and for the war to go poorly. The connection is not quite clear enough as it stands. Maybe more of your folks could openly wish thousands of deaths on Americans since they were stupid enough to vote for Bush.

In short: more of the same and lots of it, Terry. I just know it'll work better next time.


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