Wednesday, November 17, 2004

More Harbingers of the Apocalypse

I think I know how Nostradamus felt as he sat at his candlelit desk, stroking his beard. The knowledge that the end is near evokes from within an eerie pathos that allows no real comparison. What unspeakable things would happen if everyone shared this same cognition? What evil would rise to harness the terror that would surely sweep the nations of the world like wildfire? I shudder to even imagine such dire events.

Thankfully, this ability to recognize the signs, this horrible gift, seems to reside solely within me. I will, however, will continue to fulfill my obligation--and my burden--to report to the public what it refuses to acknowledge--that the harbingers of the apocalypse exist all around us. One only needs to look carefully enough:

Just yesterday it became public knowledge that David Lee Roth, former Van Halen frontman, is now training to be a paramedic. Soon enough, when Slick Rick becomes a cop and Sebastian Bach is elected Pope, you'll know I was right.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are hilarious!

6:50 PM  

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