Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Boosting Team Morale

It is an age old problem for the wives of atheltes. Their husbands spend half the year on the road, where they are exposed to eager, willing, and able nubile young women. There is peer pressure and a code of silence among teammates. What is a young wife to do? Here is one brilliant solution:

ANNA Benson, the former model and stripper who is married to Mets pitcher Kris Benson, vowed yesterday that if she ever catches her husband cheating, she'll have sex with all his teammates. "I told him [Kris] — because that's the biggest thing in athletics, they cheat all the time — I told him, cheat on me all you want. If you get caught, I'm going to s- - -w everybody on your entire team — coaches, trainers, players. I would do everybody on his whole team."

Even the coaches? What about, like, the bat boys? What about groundskeepers?

"Everybody would get a turn," Anna pledged. "If my husband cheated on me and
embarrassed me like that, I will embarrass him more than he could ever imagine.
If I'm lining them up," Anna said, "I'll [also] circle into other teams. Whatever team he's playing, I will s- - -w all them too."
Total genius. Now his entire team is keeping an eye on him for her. And don't think those batboys aren't going to be trying to set him up.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Factor's confused . . .

Call it temporary insanity, but I'm apparently too naive to understand what s - - - w means.

10:36 AM  

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