Thursday, April 28, 2005

Workplace Poetry

An email from a colleague so poorly written it is like modern poetry:

Here is the Tracking #6XXXXXXXXXX5 For Your Payroll Package.
If you need futher Assistant.
Please go online to the Fedex site and type in you Tracking Number.

Thank you

Some of the beauty is lost in blogger. The e-mail had no subject line and was from someone I have never heard of before. So much remains to enjoy, however. The tracking number slapped into the sentence. The way the second half of the first sentence is all capitalized for no conceivable reason. The extra space between "If" and you. "Futher". The way "Assistant" which is, of course, not only the wrong word but the wrong part of speech is capitalized. The dependent clause standing as a sentence. The request to "type in you Tracking Number". The capitalization of "Tracking Number". The three spaces before the close, which is offset about a third of the way across the screen. The way the close is not offset by a comma. The way there is no signature line. All this packed into a mere 29 words.

Genius, sheer genius.


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